The best birthday jokes

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, kids, sex, new year
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, Halloween, birthday, ugly
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote: has 65.47 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, wife, birthday
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, birthday, family
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
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More jokes about: science, medical, republican, birthday, political
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, birthday
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, age, birthday
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, birthday, age
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, birthday
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, music, birthday