The best black humor jokes

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Funeral jokes are the best - they never die...
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, funeral
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.76 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
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