Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.