Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.