Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.