What's red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....