Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.