The best blonde jokes

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck. Three sit in the cab and one sits in the bed of the truck. The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots. Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them. "Where have you been?" they ask. Clearly frustrated, she responds, "Well, you all forgot to open the tail gate!"
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
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has 77.57 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden. “But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.” The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.” And with that, he left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, fish
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving. The cop yelled, "Pull over!" The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
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has 77.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
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has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, time, travel
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing. Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. She finds herself barely able to hang on. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away. She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden... Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.
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has 76.85 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, horse
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
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has 76.85 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: blonde, women
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day? A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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