Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They forget the recipe.
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"