The best blonde jokes

Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room? A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days. "Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day." So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day. The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?" She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Finally, it’s the blondes turn. She gets all the way to the 99th step before she laughs. God asks her, “You were so close, why did you laugh?” and she responds, “I just got the first joke!”
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Vote:
has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
Vote:
has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!" A: They were both blonds.
Vote:
has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: athlete, blonde, fat, stupid
<<<47484950
More jokes →
Page 47 of 79.