The best car jokes

Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car, women, flirt
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote: has 68.61 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people, kids, car
Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, mexican, car, money, ethnic
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, car, sex
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, car, doctor
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid, car
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, animal, car, time, mechanic
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she smiles traffic slows down.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, insulting, car
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, age, prison, car, women