The best car jokes

I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
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More jokes about: racist, car, black people
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, car
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, travel, elf, car
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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More jokes about: fitness, time, car, gym
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work, IT, car, business
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.  As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.  "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer." The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, priest, car, death
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote: has 67.32 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, sex, car
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car