The best car jokes

Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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More jokes about: animal, car
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car, weather
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car
A guy who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few drinks this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "That a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk, wife
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
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More jokes about: kids, Santa, car
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, car
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Vote: has 61.76 % from 929 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, car, cop
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Vote: has 61.43 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car