The best car jokes

Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, divorce, car
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car, drunk, alcohol
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, cop, car
What do you call a bunch of niggers in a school bus? A rotten banana.
Vote: has 26.20 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, school, car
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car, stupid, driving
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, phone, car, health, driving
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
Vote: has 25.31 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, travel, car
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, husband, car
A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, wife, car, money
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fat, car