The best car jokes

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
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More jokes about: kids, car, money, stupid
What do spongebob and an asian have in common? They're both yellow and cant drive.
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More jokes about: racist, car
Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”
Vote: has 78.85 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, car
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
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More jokes about: weed, driving, car, cop
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa... peacefully... sleeping... unlike the passengers in his car.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, death, car
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, age, car, money, dad
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, wife, car
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, bartender, drunk
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken. "That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?" "I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, time, wife, food