The best celebrity jokes

Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
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Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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There is man sitting in a bar who is really, really drunk. When the bar closes he gets up to go home. He stumbles and falls couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the face. The nun is shocked beyond belief, but before she could say anything, he leans over and punches her again. This time the nun hits the pavement. The drunk stumbles over to her, kicks her in the butt, picks her up and throws her against the wall. By now the nun is very weak and can barely move. He leans over her, grabbing her by the collar of her habit and says, "Not feeling too STRONG tonight, I thought you would be tougher Batman!"
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Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
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