The best celebrity jokes

Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war, celebrity
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
Vote: has 51.56 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, celebrity, health, work
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, celebrity
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Vote: has 49.41 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music, celebrity
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote: has 49.31 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, celebrity
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, women, celebrity, divorce, wife
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sport, celebrity, food
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
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Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, celebrity, family