The best celebrity jokes

If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, celebrity
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, celebrity
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity, airplane, business
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, celebrity, car, death, god
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, celebrity
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 35.12 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, celebrity, alcohol, drug
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, celebrity, music
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, celebrity, war
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
Vote: has 32.12 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music, death, celebrity