The best celebrity jokes

Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
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More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven. There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise. Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell. After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations." St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise. From that day and then there was a disturbing silence. After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what? Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking. Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ. He calls him and says: "God will punish you" And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, death, celebrity, heaven
1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?" 2nd Officer: "Who?" 1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!" 2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?" 1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, celebrity
Two men were sitting at the top floor of the Empire State Building. One man says to the other.. "You know, if you jump out the window here, the force of the wind will blow you back in through the window on the 90th floor.." The other man says "fuck off, you're jokin aren't u?" The 1st man says "No, here.. I'll prove it" so he stands on the window ledge and jumps out.. and comes back in thru the 90th floor window.. The 2nd man says.. "That was just a one off" So he does it again.. and comes thru on the 90th floor.. runs back up and says "See, im telling the truth" The 2nd man says "Wow, im gonna do it then" he stands on the window ledge, jumps out and falls to his death. The barman says to the first man.. "You know, you're a cunt when you're drunk superman.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, celebrity
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, celebrity, drunk
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
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More jokes about: animal, celebrity
Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified? Yes, but why? Because he was superstitious. He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...
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More jokes about: sport, celebrity
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 18.64 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, music, celebrity, drug
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
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More jokes about: money, celebrity
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
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More jokes about: sport, celebrity