The best celebrity jokes

If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
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More jokes about: life, celebrity
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, dog, celebrity, beer
There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said; "Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Vote: has 75.95 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music, celebrity
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Vote: has 75.24 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music, celebrity
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
Vote: has 75.20 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Vote: has 75.05 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, golf, celebrity, car
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity