The best celebrity jokes

Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Vote: has 74.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity
What is it? Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but doesn’t use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Bush is one. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. What is it? The answer is: "A Last Name..." You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
Vote: has 74.33 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, celebrity, time
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, computer, IT, technology, celebrity
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music, internet, music, celebrity
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
Vote: has 74.12 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, hospital, health, masturbation, celebrity
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, celebrity
Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror. He immediately changed to the Batman
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, celebrity, kids
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, celebrity