James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...