The best Christmas jokes

The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Christmas, Santa
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, Christmas, new year, husband, food
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, Chuck Norris, food, Christmas
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
Vote: has 64.71 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, mexican, Christmas
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 64.68 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal, sex, Christmas, gay
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, priest, Christmas
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, Christmas, food, family
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, Christmas, Santa
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Christmas
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Vote: has 62.30 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, Christmas