Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.