The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.