An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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