Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.