When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.