The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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