Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.