If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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