The best Chuck Norris jokes

The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, insulting
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military