Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.