The best Chuck Norris jokes

It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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