If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.