Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.