Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.