The best Chuck Norris jokes

We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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