We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.