The best Chuck Norris jokes

Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, animal