Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.