The best Chuck Norris jokes

One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.
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Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance. He breaks dance
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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