In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.