My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
Chuck Norris once shaved his beard. People now call it Bigfoot.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.