Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
Did u know Chuck Norris had a role in star wars. He was the force.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.