If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.