The best Chuck Norris jokes

If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Vote: has 78.75 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

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Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Vote: has 78.75 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Vote: has 78.73 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Vote: has 78.70 % from 231 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Vote: has 78.68 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, animal
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa, kids