When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...