The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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