When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth