The best Chuck Norris jokes

God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war, military
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, horse, animal
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, car
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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