There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.