The best Chuck Norris jokes

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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