The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.