Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.