Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.