The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
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Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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