Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.